Every Christmas, we're plagued with disappointment. No, not because of the crappy Brookstone foot massagers and Tempur-Pedic-knockoff pillows we receive from loved ones who waited till December 23 to brave the malls. Not from the rude awakening we get (literally) every Christmas morning from our arise-at-the-crack-of-dawn children when we thought maybe, just maybe, we'd get to sleep a little later on our day off. Not even because hanging out with our relatives all day isn't quite as much fun as it used to be when we were kids — even with the assistance of JD-spiked eggnog.
The reason for our seasonal sadness? Not receiving a Christmas card from you. Yes, you. You see, we love getting mail. Kind of like when you were a freshman in college and you'd head down to your dorm mailbox after dinner, desperately and pathetically hoping you'd get a love letter from your high school boyfriend or girlfriend wanting to get back together, or a care package from Mom packed with Cheez Wiz and beer, or hell, even those stupid Columbia House direct-mail brochures asking you if you wanted to keep your Selection of the Month.
Your lack of correspondence has plunged a reindeer antler through our heart. The only way we can express ourselves is through song. Specifically, this song. We hope you understand.
0 comments:
Post a Comment