I Officially Coin the Term "Hammock Parent"

Some dude on Helium.com posted a number of ways to determine whether you're a laid-back parent. (By laid-back he means lazy and out of touch, not a mom or dad who doesn't fly off the handle every five minutes.) My kids are too young for most of the stuff on the checklist — "You don't know what time your child went to bed last night" — to apply yet, but sometimes I wonder if I am in fact too laid back.

(Worse, I fear I might be too laid-back when I should be tough, and vice versa.)

My biggest problem, as far as I can guess, is how wishy-washy I can be when it comes to discipline. When Jackson engages in bad behavior, sometimes I count to three, sometimes to five, sometimes to 10, and no matter what I count to, I often stretch out the second-to-last number to give him extra time to comply. (Sasha doesn't yet understand this system — or she shrewdly acts as if that's the case.)

A few months ago, when Jackson and I hung out at Barnes & Noble, a woman complemented me on my parenting skills: when he ran out of my sight, I stayed calm and did a consistent count-to-five policy. I discovered you really have to be in a special kind of zone to pull it off, and most of the time I don't have the mental capacity to keep it up. Either I snap too soon, or I just give up and step in only when the boy threatens massive embarrassment or expensive damage.

At home I let them have way too many pretzel sticks, too many treats, and too much Wii time, but I'm just too tired. Sometimes, they win, and I wonder whether my kids are going to turn out spoiled and incapable of any moderation.

But then, there was today. As part of my time with Jackson on a day we both had off, I killed a little time at Chuck E. Cheese using a handful of tokens left over from our last trip. A couple of times, before the tokens ran out, he asked if I could buy another batch, but I told him that that wasn't part of the plan. I expected a real fight when the machines finally ate his last rat-faced doubloon, but he gave me no resistance, even when I refused, as I always do, to buy him a sugar-packed "fruit" punch.

Small victory for Dad. Read more...