- I curled my hair while I had my baby bump: Pregnant curler represents USA.
- I would have been on death row by the end of junior high: 12-year-old arrested for doodling on her desk under zero-tolerance policy.
- If I name my next-born child "Signal Problems," will she receive a lifetime Long Island Rail Road pass? Baby born 24,000 feet in the air named after airline, to get free tickets until she's 21.
- Did they have to do a study to determine this? Kids watched full-time by their grandparents end up chubbier.
- Can they fit a toddler bed in a standard jail cell? Parents arrested for string of burglaries committed with 3-year-old in tow.
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