Also in the news...

CELEBRITY ALERT: She probably wore potato sacks while preggers and looked fabulous: Heidi Klum designs maternity line.

Oh craps: Indiana law would deny casino winnings to deadbeats owing child support.

The Cadmium Conundrum: Banned from using lead in kids' jewelry, China makes the logical decision to swap in more-dangerous transition metal instead.

My son's already embarrassed to enter the ladies' room with me -- and he's only 5: Scotland mandates that kids under 16 must be escorted by parents to restrooms in public places.

We're not the only ones freezing our asses off in the Americas: German parents make record run on sleds.

WTF, MOM! No other cars in the parking lot might have been the tipoff: Mom drops off two small kids in freezing temps at school that was closed due to inclement weather; drives away....

WTF, MOM! ...Buuuuut you can at least (maybe) call the previous mom's screwup an absentminded mistake. This Jersey Shore wannabe who left her kids in her subzero car to go get her tan on is a different story.

I've had a few Sue Sylvesters in my own scholastic career: Canadian study determines that bad gym teachers can ruin sports for kids forever.

Hell hath no wrath like that of an 8-year-old scorned: YouTube bombarded by pornographic uploads after removing child's channel due to age restrictions.

The kindergarten curriculum sure is advanced these days: 5-year-old girl helps deliver twins.