Also in the news...

WTF, MOM! Shopping list for 12-year-old's birthday party: Cake -- check. Popcorn -- check. Korbel and Mike's Hard Lemonade -- um, check.

WTF, DAD! Gives new context for "Daddy's going to work": Burglar busted -- by his own kids.

WTF, DAD! When these kids grow up and tell their own kids how they had to walk a half-mile through the snow with no shoes, gloves, or hats, they won't be exaggerating: Dad arrested for driving drunk, walking children through snow after ending up in ditch.

They've decimated our checking and savings accounts already -- why not our 401(k)s, too? Survey finds children wrecking parents' retirement funds.

WTF, DAD-TO-BE! Half of all men who have vasectomies don't go back to doc to make sure the procedure worked. On a side note: Those who didn't follow up were more likely to smoke and (ahem) have four or more kids.

CELEBRITY ALERT: In perhaps the most ambivalent declaration of family planning yet to be issued from Tinseltown, Khloe Kardashian tells radio show she and hubby "aren't doing anything" to keep her from getting pregnant.

Well, two out of three ain't bad: Slow, free-range, idle parents can increase kids' IQs,, happiness levels.

"When you’re in a sensitive position, when there’s hundreds and thousands of students around, you shouldn’t have them things on your phone.” Well said, school board member Ron Angle: Teacher's nude photo on cell phone gets sent to everyone on her contact list -- including her students.

Damned if you do...: Kids born to moms who took folic acid supplements during pregnancy at increased risk for asthma.

Irreconciliable differences? I don't think so: Kids take parents to court for divorcing, dumping them.