After a long day of a long weekend that had more tantrums than I could count, I appreciated this article, from an odd publication I never heard of (banners flash "USA" in red/white/blue but the publication itself appears to be from Timbuktu), about laying off the criticism.It's all common-sense stuff, but after battling in the trenches all day, the advice seems fresh, most importantly, to realize your kid "didn't do it just to frustrate" you.
I often take very personally much of what my kids do. It's hard not to, of course, especially after you busted your chops to do something nice like let them watch an extra episode of SpongeBob or have a treat or take them to Chuck E. Cheese and then when you ask them to do something shortly thereafter they throw a fit, not to mention all your good deeds back in your face.
The hardest part of this, especially when you're at a point where you feel you actually don't like your kid very much right now, is to follow the rule to "look for ways to praise." And it can be hard when the only praise you feel like uttering is, "You did a good job not sending me to the hospital with a nervous breakdown" or "I appreciate that you didn't go that extra step that would have led me to throw you through my living room window."
"Criticism is like coarse sandpaper scraping away at your child's self esteem," the author writes. "Praise is the flowing of a gentle brook, beautiful to hear and nourishing to your child's self esteem."
I don't know if I'd ever put it that way, but I'd have to agree. Read more...
