Well, Isn't That Special? (But Not TOO Special)

The Huffington Post, which I generally don't read, offers many blogs that annoy me. In that way, it is a helpful service, if you enjoy the servie of being annoyed. In many ways, the blog post I'm going to discuss, "The Duality of Parenting: The Authoritative vs. Permissive Debate" by Lisa Earle McLeod, is kinda annoying because her posts seem like they're rather transparently crafted to promote her book, The Triangle of Truth, which you can find on her site, where she describes herself as "Author. Columnist. Thought Leader."

(I would call myself "Writer. Blogger. Dad. Idiot.")

As I've mentioned, the post is designed to sell her book, but there was one little nugget that intrigued me. She said that she read this statement in a parenting book, the title of which she doesn't mention lest you decide to buy that and not The Triangle of Truth: "In an ideal circumstance a child is raised to believe that they are incredibly special, but no more special than anyone else." McLeod explains:

But in trying to make our kids feel special, we sometimes forgot to tell them that everybody else is special too. And that as much as we're put on this planet to be loved, we don't experience true happiness until we learn the discipline of returning that love to others.

And I'll have to agree. I see a lot of kids get built up, but I wonder how many of these precious tots are learning sympathy or its cousin, empathy. Likewise, how many are able to handle when things don't go their way? I already know my kids are spoiled compared to the way I was raised (an assessment they'll later dispute), but I can't — and shouldn't — think I can protect them from every bad situation, from embarrassment to regrettable mistakes to public rejection (or what I refer to as "90% of my life from ages 7 to 17").

As McLeod notes, "Parenting isn't about trying to shield your kids from set-backs, disappointments and the unfairness of life. It's about preparing them to deal with it."

In other words, shit happens. Over and over again. But it happens to other people, too. So, chin up! Read more...