Just Tell Me There Won't Be a Bill Clinton Pop-Up Book

Trying to capitalize on a bestselling political memoir as well as fears of Big Government (I used Title Caps to show how big), some lady with artistic talent that I am not qualified to judge — but if I were qualified I'd it judge harshly — has whipped up a illustrated book, allegedly for children, called Help! Mom! Radicals Are Ruining My Country!

I'm guessing "Liberals" was replaced with a more-vague "Radicals" in order to make the book seem less political. Of course, the entire book appears to be a preaching-to-the-choir tract that will probably go over the heads of the intended audience except for those who keep The O'Reilly Factor for Kids next to their Harry Potter doorstops.

In the book, "Governor Sarah" (guess who) assists two young boys struggling to maintain their swing-set business (!!!) despite "high taxes, heavy regulations and 246 czars" — as well as the main villain, President "Marxus Obunduf" (*groan*) who got his name because Commie McStalin was no longer available.

"I am trying to let all Americans know that these radicals are killing the American Dream and I want to stop them from hurting people that produce products and provide jobs," the author told the editorial board of The Nation Foxnews.com.

Sigh. Listen, I'm as against excessive government waste and bureaucracy as much as any vocal red-stater. But...really: A swing-set business? Two young kids who, based on the illustration above, would have a hard time getting jobs as hobos, are in the swing-set business? What is a swing-set business? Do they assemble swing-sets? Would you trust those two guys, who can't even comb their hair properly or select pants in the correct size, to install a playground that will likely maim and disfigure your children and their friends?

I can only imagine the humorless heavy-handedness that will take place in this tome:

"I'm sorry, comrades," said President Marxus Obunduf, "but you'll need 11 different permits for your swing-set business, whatever that is, because I hate the working man and because I was actually born in Antarctica — but you'll never prove it! MWA HA HA! Now let me refer you to Vice President Footinmouth."

But don't get me wrong, I doubt the liberals — I mean the radicals — could do any better. Read more...