This Is Why I Hate Childless People

One time when I was at work, I was talking about the release of Grand Theft Auto IV, which I know I would enjoy because I had lots of fun playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas on my PlayStation 2. There's no better release for an adult who would not be adversely affected by a video game's violence because he's well adjusted and clearly knows right from wrong than a game where you get to shoot people, commit countless criminal acts, and even cause mayhem in an army tank.

So I was lamenting that I could not play the latest GTA game because I didn't own the PS3 or Xbox360 game systems, which were required to play IV. (Even if they were available for the PS2, I'd already sold that thing in order to pay some bills.)

My co-worker replied, "Why don't you just go out and buy the system and the game?" She said this like she was speaking to a guy who said he was thirsty while standing next to a 7-Eleven Big Gulp dispenser.

But what she, a woman in her 20s who lived at home with no kids or mortgage or, I'm guessing, major utility bills, didn't understand — and I don't blame her for not understanding — is that when you're saddled with a couple of kids, a large portion of your disposable income is quickly disposed of. Out West, according to an article, it costs some $266,698 to raise a child to the age of 18. And that doesn't count when they'll be asking for money long after they turn 18, which reminds me I should thank my father for helping me out with my recent brake job.

So I never did get that Xbox or PS3. However, we did buy a Wii this weekend, but we used money we already had put aside. For the kids' last two birthdays, we suggested to relatives that, if they couldn't think of a proper gift, to put the money they were going to spend toward the "Wii fund." That way, no one person (or us) would be obligated to buy the $200 (at the time, $250) system. The kids receive enough smaller toys at their birthdays, most of which are soon buried in a toy box or forgotten; the Wii would provide plenty of long-term fun, especially since Jackson can already kick my ass in the sword-fighting part of Sports Resort when we play at my brother-in-law's house.

They don't make GTA IV for the Wii, but I bought a used copy of Bully, a somewhat similar and less violent game from the same company, which I used to "test" the Wii. (We'll wrap the box for Christmas and it'll be ready to go.)

And 2010 will begin our foray into the controlling-the-time-spent-on-the-Wii parenting, which will take up our energy until the kids are old enough to have a cell phone, which I think kids get at age 6, right?
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