Also in the news....

• VIRAL VIDEO: How did the pilgrims and Native Americans celebrate the first Thanksgiving? With smallpox blankets and whiskey, natch.


• HOLIDAY HUBBUB: It's a veritable rite of passage: bringing the kids to the mall to get their snapshots with jolly ol' Saint Nick. However, as many of our family albums will surely testify, this particular photo op doesn't always work out as planned. Parenting.com hopes to capitalize on this trend and therefore requests your best "scared of Santa" photos.


• CELEBRITY ALERT: This tween pandemonium (all over some dude who made his singing debut on YouTube) happened on our home turf at Roosevelt Field mall on Long Island: Justin Bieber (am I supposed to know who this is?) fans riot; police cancel star's appearance, forcing despondent girls to spend the afternoon shopping at Abercrombie and Hollister instead.


• When I was in high school, my dad paid some guy with a bad toupee and a wrinkled suit to come to our house and sell me shitty SAT software so I could have an edge over my classmates in getting into a decent college. Apparently, he didn't start early enough.


• CELEBRITY ALERT: Here's one conversation most of us ordinary folk will never have to have (we hope) with the kids: Pamela Anderson has sit-down with her boys, explains sex tape with Tommy Lee.


• Psychology Today asks: Do you want a gifted child or a hardworking child (the author's preference may not be what you'd expect). I'd like to hedge my bets and request both, please.


• CELEBRITY ALERT: Just because he's talking America's favorite pastime, let's hope he doesn't lob as many softballs as his suspendered dad: Larry King's son to host kids' baseball show.


• MILFs in minis: Envious of your tween's wardrobe? Join the throngs of moms who buck their chronological age to shop in Juniors.


• Back in our angst-ridden teen years (circa mid-1980s), "emo" meant listening to The Cure, schlacking on the black Wet n Wild eyeliner, and drinking Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill. These days, it translates to murder.


• We bet the conception sex was out of this world, too: Dad in space announces birth of daughter.