I'd Rather Be My Own Grandpa

Would I want me as a parent? I know we'd enjoy playing video games together, my dad-self and I. We'd like the same kind of music. We'd get a tandem bike and ride it all over town.

Doppelgängerfather would tell me not to crease my baseball cards or throw away my old wrestling magazines, because Doppelgängerfather would understand they'd be worth money someday.

Doppelgängerfather would tell me not to worry about girls breaking up with me in high school, because he knows that none of it made much of a difference years later, considering he found happiness with Mother. But is Mother my real mother, or my wife? Either way, it's kind of creepy. And where's Real Dad during all this? Wherever he is, he's probably having a better time than all of us.

Anyway, if I were my own father, I couldn't shout YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME at Doppelgängerfather, because Doppelgängerfather would understand me, because Doppelgängerfather is me. Though I'm not sure if this would-you-want-you-as-a-parent exercise involves cloning or time travel — or am I maintaining child and father personalities in the same body? Because that makes a big difference.

Right?