Also in the news...

• High art and the Hamburglar: If you're perpetually postponing that trip to Europe because you're concerned your nugget-bred children won't sample the local cuisine -- it's time to call your travel agent: McDonald's to open at the Louvre.


Norwegian 'hood: Looking for the best place to raise your kids? Norway tops the list (the U.S. doesn't even make the top ten).


When selecting an institution of higher learning, most parents employ a painstaking analysis that takes into account reputation, cost, location, and academic programs. That said, if you also require assurance that your kid's future college has a solid contingency plan in place in the event of a zombie attack, you might want to check out the University of Florida.


CELEBRITY ALERT (update): "Lev him alone, Mr. Eltons Johns!": Babushka-clad Ukie mom pleads with pop singer to cease and desist all adoption efforts.


Fie, fudge brownie! Curse you, chocolate cupcake! And zucchini bread -- well, I just don't have an expletive to attribute to your particular type of trans-fat foulness. NYC schools ban bake sales.


PRODUCT ALERT: Snowball fights? Skateboarding? The intriguing-yet-I-don't-know-what-the-hell-the-point-is sport of parkour? Wii Fit Plus designed to appeal to the younger set.


But I know I put him on the bus this morning! School screws up, sends out automated phone alert to parents that kids are absent -- for every single student in the school.


Hello Kitty is alternately cuddly and creepy. One other thing it is lately is ubiquitous -- hell, there's even a whole section in Target dedicated to the Sanrio brand. Perhaps that's why these folks have pilfered the ivory feline for their own personal and commercial reasons.


BAD PARENTING: A chip off the old blockhead: Dad adorns son's body with gang tattoo just like his own.


The amazing windmill boy: Teen powers entire Malawi village with his natural-resource invention.


Yet they do ask about it on the AP History exam: "Kamasutra" in high-school history curriculum causes uproar.


The holidays are fast approaching -- why not splurge on a plush stuffed uterus for that special lady in your life.