I'm Forecasting..."Miss"

In the "At this point I'll believe anything" category is the news that Peter Berg is directing a movie based on the Battleship game.

This is likely a non-story, because the movie is just going to be an overblown naval-battle saga: "For Berg, the picture realizes a passion for ship-bound war stories that he picked up from his naval historian father."

In other words, it won't involve his two loser uncles known for hunching over the kitchen table on Thanksgiving around a board game shouting letter-number combos like insane bingo callers.

(Then again, they did make a film based on the My Buddy doll, though it's probably not what Playskool had in mind.)

I love this quote:

Berg called the pic "a contemporary story of an international five-ship fleet engaged in a very dynamic, violent and intense battle" — but he would not disclose any details about the enemy force.

If it's based on the friggin' game, I assume that the enemy force will also be a five-ship fleet: the aircraft carrier, the battleship, those two three-holed ships, and that two-holed tugboat thing that's a pain in the ass to find.

Next on the agenda, and I'm not kidding, are movies based on Stretch Armstrong, Clue (because you can never have too many Clue movies), Candy Land, and Monopoly.

But, if this film becomes a "hit" (in the movie way, not the Battleship game way), then we could probably look forward to the sequel:

Electronic Battleship. Read more...