I LIKE THIS Article on Dealing With Kids at a Restaurant

A very brief but enjoyable article on NJ.com, despite its author having titled a book with the double-cringe-worthy-though-it-will-sell-more-copies-than-anything-I-try-to-write The 40-Year-Old Version: Humoirs of a Divorced Dad, regarding monitoring your kid's behavior at restaurants.

Joel Schwartzberg notes that because kids are usually able to "spend entire school days being respectful," you shouldn't have to bribe them into behaving functioning members of society.

It's like that Chris Rock routine, where the absentee father brags, "I take care of my kids," and Rock retorts, "That's what you're supposed to do! What do you want? A cookie?"

In other words, you shouldn't have to dangle a cookie (for school-aged kids, mind you, toddlers and pre-schoolers are another story) for your child to sit up and refrain from crawling on the floor, eating the sugar packets, and unscrewing the salt shaker.

You should, Schwartzberg writes, "prep them with [your] expectations." It seems easier said then done, but sometimes when you give them a little credit and not expect the worst, that trip to IHOP won't be World War III.