iHate

No, I don't watch am not yet forced to watch iCarly, but if you watch enough SpongeBob SquarePants and other Nickelodeon-channel programming, you're bombarded with ads for this shrill show that takes place in some alternative universe where the only parental figure is her imbecile big brother.

iCarly, or Carly, or whatever she calls herself, runs some sort of live video podcast or something and gets involved in high jinks with her lame friends and screams a lot.

Nick's strategy in recent years is to take these shows, stretch them to double length, and call them "movies" or "specials," and the channel is very successful in this regard because they promote these things ad nauseum when they're not promoting Bendaroos or some other crappy craft that Jackson has to have.

And believe me, I was actually interested in watching her most recent special because it involves her fighting another 16-year-old in a steel cage and I know it's probably wrong to enjoy that idea as much as I'm admitting here.

But I digress.
Now they're running ads for some "iCruise with iCarly Week" where we see some of the cast on a cruise ship.

One problem that they haven't seemed to address: No iCarly. She's not going to be on the ship. Instead, you get her dumb blonde friend, some dude from the show, and the girl from True Jackson, VP, another show I don't watch but whose ads I have to endure every day, which also stars one of the less-funny guys from Whose Line Is It Anyway.

DAMN YOU NICK AND YOUR ADVERTISING THAT IS LIKELY FALSE
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