Girl Who's Eaten Nothing But Chicken McNuggets Since Age 2 Collapses

Must. Stop. Eating. Nuggets. 

Well, that's not completely true: Stacy Irvine has also chowed down on fries, toast, and KFC. But the 17-year-old British girl has pretty much subsisted on the preservative-laden poultry since she was a toddler, has never had fruits and vegetables, and is plagued by anemia and has swollen veins in her tongue (betcha didn't think Happy Meals would lead to that, didja?). In her latest medical incident, Irvine was rushed to the hospital with breathing problems, where doctors learned of her unusual diet.

Amazingly, the teen is pretty svelte, all things considered, but doctors have warned her she is going to have further serious health complications if she doesn't start frequenting the produce aisle. Her mom says she's tried everything, including starving her, but we have to ask: Who's been buying her this crap all these years?

Should Stacy's parents be held responsible for her addiction to fast food?

Truant Kids Do the Darndest Things — Like Swim Across Frozen Rivers to Get Out of Class

Algebra class...or this? 

I just got a call from the school nurse. For the second day in a row, my 5-year-old daughter has come in, clutching her stomach and complaining that her belly hurts and the "bone in her head is aching" (don't ask). I'm normally a pretty anxious parent, the type who automatically thinks a headache and slightly sore neck means full-blown meningitis. So when I tell you that I know my kid is full of shiite, you must believe me — she just wants to get out of school.

Point being, kids will do almost anything to skip class and spend the day playing Sorry and Stratego with Mommy or Daddy. This teen, who attempted to swim across a frozen lake in the Catskills after fleeing campus, pretty much proves my point.

Should the kid be punished for truancy — or are his hypothermia enough punishment?

Sharon Osbourne Says She Will Be 'Grandma From Hell'

Jack Osbourne and his fiancee better lock the doors when their baby shows up in April — because Grandma Sharon is going to terrorize them with gifts! And clothes! And ice cream! The TV star has admitted that she's going to "be the grandmother from hell because I'm going to spoil this baby so bad."

I guess we shouldn't really be all that surprised, considering her husband's loose dalliance in Satanism and penchant for bat heads (it was rubber — I know, I know).

Would you want Sharon Osbourne to be your grandma?

Yeah, So, One of Those Chicks From 'The Hills' Is Pregnant

The Hills is one of those reality shows that I just couldn't bring myself to watch — and you know how I love my reality shows (or maybe you don't...I love reality shows).

So color me "meh" for hearing the news that Kristin Cavallari is with child with on-again/off-again fiance Jay Cutler. He plays football or something like that, right?

Will Kristin and Jay make it to the altar?

It's About Time Parents Got Spanked at a TV Taping

In a situation that can only be labeled as "every child's dream," mom Kellie Rodriguez was spanked over and over (and over) again at the taping of Disney Channel show Good Luck Charlie. After being called onstage by the comedian in charge of crowd control to take part in an "audience participation" dance, Rodriguez was paddy-whacked and smooched by the host. She's suing, naturally.

Would you be outraged if your buttocks were pummeled on national TV?

Why You Can't Name Your Child “Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116" in Sweden

Benson and Hedges for a pair of New Zealand twins? Approved! 

It might be acceptable to bestow a trendy (or idiotic) name on your kid here in the US of A, but there are strict rules governing baby-labeling in countries around the world. For instance, New Zealand doesn't allow any name that "might cause offence to a reasonable person" ("Sex Fruit" and "Yeah Detroit" appear on the rejected list), while in Denmark, parents get to choose from a preapproved list of about 7,000 or so monikers.

American celebrities, are you listening?

What's the strangest name you've ever heard for a baby?

First a Golden Globe, Now Frasier's Having a Baby

 

I'm still reeling that Kelsey Grammer won an HFPA award last night (really?! Bryan Cranston and Steve Buscemi not good enough for you, foreign press?!), but today his new (fourth) wife is probably the one reeling — from morning sickness: Kayle Walsh Grammer is pregnant with twins. The new additions will join Kelsey's four other children from previous relationships/marriages/reality show arrangements.

Camille, you dodged a bullet on this one. No, literally — Kelsey's bullet.

Next Up for Blue Ivy: 'NY Times' Best-Seller List?

Blue Ivy Carter, illuminati daughter of Beyonce and Jay-Z, has already racked up her first world record: the youngest person to make it onto the Billboard charts, thanks to dad's song "Glory," which features her cooing and crying in the background.

I hate overachievers.

[Image: The Daily Beast]

Want Fries and Some F. Scott Fitzgerald With That?

One-upping the healthier-eating campaign undertaken by stateside counterparts, McDonald's restaurants in the U.K. are replacing Happy Meal toys with (wait for it) — books.

Each book also comes with a finger puppet. Which is a toy, right?

Literate idea or destined to be another fast-food flop?

Don't Get Suave on That Bathtub Bling

"Our baby's gonna be mean and clean."

Blue Ivy Carter, Beyonce and Jay-Z's new addition, is getting flooded with gifts from the power couple's friends.

Let me get the prerequisite eye roll out of the way. OK, let's's continue. Of particular note is a $5,200 crystal Swarovski bathtub gifted to Blue Ivy by Beyonce's former Destiny's Child mate, Kelly Rowland.

Sorry — I can't go on.

Do you think there's a little bit of overkill when it comes to celebrity baby gifts?